1. Be the keeper of information.
One
solution to fear of networking involves positioning yourself so people approach
you for information, not the other way around. If you serve on a committee and
your knowledge is important to its members, people will seek you out. Then it
is easier for you to lead the conversation toward your career goals.
2.
Join associations.
Join
associations and serve on a committee so you have something in common with its
members. That will make it easier for you to start a conversation with another
member since you will have goals in common. Some of the best committees to
serve on are program, membership, and public relations committees. You may also
want to select a committee that will encourage you to move beyond your comfort
zone and into a new skill set.
The
best source for lists of associations in your area of interest is The
Encyclopedia of Associations, a comprehensive source of detailed information on
over 162,000 nonprofit membership organizations worldwide. The Encyclopedia of
Associations database provides addresses and descriptions of professional
societies, trade associations, labor unions, cultural and religious
organizations, fan clubs, and other groups of all types. (Use the database and
forget trying to buy it. Amazon sells the four-volume series for $2,040! If you
want to use the physical books, use your public library.)
3. Become a regular.
Once
you join an association, go to meetings regularly. It might take six months for
people to start recognizing you and saying hello, so you may be uncomfortable
when you first start attending, but just concentrate on what you are learning.
It’s okay to
be quiet in your first few meetings and, if you keep showing up, month after
month, eventually you’re
going to recognize other “regulars,” and you’ll feel generally more comfortable.
You’ll soon be
communicating without focusing on it.
4. Use your natural style.
Learn
to use your natural style when you’re attending events so you don’t come off
as fake. However, here is an important trick: try to attend events with an
extroverted colleague who will involve you in conversations. You might even
plan a strategy with your colleague before you go. For example, discuss whom
you want to meet and how long you think you’ll feel comfortable holding a
conversation. Your colleague can “professionally” interrupt you to introduce you to
someone else when time’s
up or you give a signal.
5. An introduction, plus!
Another
strategy to use at events is to ask people you know not only to introduce you
to others, but also to join the conversation until it gets rolling!
6. How to get the conversation
started.
A
major concern for introverts is how to keep the conversation going. If the
person you are talking to is an extrovert, this will not be a problem. However,
when talking to introverts, ask them about themselves. For example, ask them
how they landed their current position, which may provide an important tip for
your own search. You can also ask them about their careers—what
projects they are currently working on, the pros and cons of the job, and so
on. Ask about their families, what professional associations they belong to and
why. Listen carefully for opportunities to help them—perhaps you
can help them with something that will add to your skills or be an opportunity
to network with others!
7. Turn networking into research or a puzzle to
solve.
Think
of gathering information as research, not networking!
Introverts
tend to love solving puzzles, so we recommend that they look at networking events
as a puzzle they are trying to solve—which pieces fit into their job
search puzzle and how they fit together.
8. Use technology.
If
you are uncomfortable using our suggestions for face-to-face networking, try social
networks like LinkedIn or Twitter,
which are also great for networking. The “people
search”
feature on LinkedIn can be used to reconnect with people you
haven’t heard from in years. Another great aspect of
Linkedin is its list of professional user groups that you can join to increase
your networking contacts significantly. Twitter is also very helpful. You can
do a Twitter search for a topic you’re interested in and start “following” people whose tweets you find
interesting. Then you can visit their blogs, leave comments, and start
conversations. If you get to know them well, you can then ask them to join your
LinkedIn network. There are also live chats, podcast, and webinars available;
although less interactive than the social networks, they provide an opportunity
to gain professional knowledge, which will help you when you’re trying
to start a conversation at face-to-face events.
9. Analyze your results.
Introverts who are intuitive and analytical can use these
skills to determine what is working and what isn’t.
The results can also be used to help determine where introverts can get the
most bang for their buck (or effort).
10. Practice the art of networking.
Workingwith an executive coach or career counselor is very helpful. At Executive
Leadership, LLC, we have seen a marked improvement with our clients as we coach
them in the art of networking. Our networking practice is similar to the work
we do in helping our clients to prepare for interviews.
11. Find
someone who is alone.
You
know there are many other people who hate to “work a room.” They are probably the ones standing
alone, drink in hand, wishing the whole thing were over! Say hello. You may
find a kindred spirit and maybe a new networking friend.
12. Don’t dominate
one person with your conversation.
Introverts
typically enjoy deep conversations, not small talk. If you do have the
opportunity to get involved in a conversation with someone, make sure that you
are mindful of his or her time and body language to know when it is time to
move on. Most people attend networking events to circulate and touch base with
several people, so be sure you don’t hold someone hostage by
monopolizing all their time. Instead, have a short, memorable conversation, and
then exchange business cards. Then make a note on the back of the person’s business
card to remind you what you spoke about so it is easier to reconnect.
13. Do cool things.
Introverts
typically don’t like to
talk about themselves; we (yes, I’m highly introverted!) prefer to talk
about ideas. Force yourself to discuss some of the things you’ve done.
Don’t brag, and
make sure they are relevant to the conversation. Doing this helps the
extroverts to remember you and, what is more important they can discuss your
traits and or your personality while they are passing along information about
your achievements. Yes, I realize you would rather be accepted for just being
you and not have to be measured by someone else’s milestone however, the truth is
that the business world measures you by what you accomplish along with other
criteria.
14. Help
others.
Send
leads to the jobseekers you know. You don’t have to talk to them, but they’ll remember
the favor and view you as a friend. Try maintaining a list of specialized job
sites that you can use to obtain job leads for friends who have recently lost
jobs. They will be grateful for his help and the time it saves them.
15. Don’t spend too much time
on networking.
If you wear yourself out, you won’t
ever want to network. Accept your limitations and do just one or two events a
month. It takes a long time to build these relationships, so it’s
better to stick with a few groups over the long haul, versus wearing yourself
out attending events for ten different groups in two months.
16. Find the “gatekeepers” in
the network.
Don’t make it your goal to meet one person who
can only introduce you to one other person or, worse yet, someone who doesn’t
know anyone. Instead, network with a gatekeeper, someone who knows several
people. If networking wears you out, you will be better off finding five
gatekeepers, each of whom knows ten other people, than trying to find and
maintain relationships with fifty people.
While this strategy may take a long time to unfold because it may
be difficult to find these gatekeepers, the payoff is high. Two suggestions:
look for introverts who are in jobs that force them to be well connected or
extroverts who will share their connects with you.
17.
Host an event.
By
hosting a meeting, business event, or party, you can focus on the comfort and
ease of your guests, rather than focusing on yourself. Be sure to serve food
and drinks that are plentiful but that are also no-brainers so you are not
trapped alone in the kitchen struggling with the food. For example, try bow-tie
pasta with several different sauces, to which guests can help themselves, along
with a glass of wine. For a meeting, try a salad for which guests can choose
their own toppings and dressing.
18. Be sure to have a plan.
Be
very clear about what you want to get from any interaction. Ask yourself: What
is the ideal outcome for this interaction? How does it look? What are the
specific things I want to happen?
19. Arrive early to
events and meetings.
Make it a habit to arrive very early
to events when only a few people have arrived. It is much easier to meet people
when you arrive early verses if you arrive after the majority of the guest have
arrived and have already formed groups where conversations have started.
Another
advantage to arriving early is that you’ll have an opportunity to meet the
people who organized the event, who are likely to be movers and shakers and to
be able to introduce you to some of the other guests. Another tactic is to
introduce other people to one another; it will take the pressure off you, and
you can use “active
listening skills” to join in
the conversation.
20.
Us your skills and knowledge
Focus
on ways you can help others with your talents and skills. Being an introvert
does not mean that you are not talented and skillful. On the contrary, you
could be a valuable commodity to just the right person! The key here is to use
those skills to help others while helping yourself. A great way to start is by
writing down some questions that you can use in a conversation that would
feature your skills. You can then use those very questions as you meet contacts
to determine if there is a way you can assist them in reaching their goals.
This will venture should benefit both of you.
21.
Smile!
Smiling not only makes you more
approachable, but it’s
also a psychological tool to make yourself feel better. You’ll feel
more confident, and everyone will be able to see it!
22.
Remember to breathe.
Chances are that, at some point,
nerves or anxiety will kick in, especially in places that can feel overwhelming
because of noise and activity. If you feel your heart rate kick up, take a deep
breath to collect yourself and, if you need to, retreat to a quiet area for a
few minutes. Being in highly active spaces can definitely be stressful, so be
sure to take time for yourself, even if only for five minutes, to reenergize.
23.
Make eye contact.
It can be a challenge to maintain eye
contact. The natural human instinct is to avert your eyes when you feel
uncomfortable. Keep reminding yourself to maintain focus on the person or group
with whom you are interacting. While strong eye contact is definitely seen
differently in some cultures, here in the United States not making eye contact
can be interpreted as rudeness or boredom. (You can also use too much eye
contact; try to stay on the sane side of Charles Manson.)
24.
Hold something in your hand.
If you notice that you fidget a lot,
try holding a cup of water, your conference booklet, or a pad of paper in your
hands. This will keep your hands occupied and allow you to stay focused on the
conversation. I do not recommend holding any type of phone, Blackberry, Droid,
or i-touch or any other electronic device that would indicate that you’re waiting
for something that’s
more important than the person with whom you’re talking.
25. Forget your 30-second and 60-second
elevator pitches.
You’ve
probably been taught all about the elevator pitch, but that’s not how you introduce yourself! The reality is that you only have about
six-seconds to introduce yourself! You need a good, short personal branding
statement. Mine is: “Hi, I’m CB. My
company, Executive Leadership, LLC, can help you become more successful.” If
your personal branding statement is crisp and interesting, you will be invited
to give your pitch.
26. Try public speaking!
Ironically, many introverts are great
platform speakers and great performers. They tend to be more comfortable
talking to a roomful of people than networking one-on-one. One of the key
benefits of being a speaker is that people come to you for networking, so it’s easy to
establish new relationships.
27.
Don’t assume
the worst.
Don’t
think that you’re bothering people. Most people will be glad to hear from you,
especially if you have something interesting to say or if a mutual friend or
colleague introduces you.
28.
Where do you start?
Start
by relying on your supporters. Network first with mentors, close colleagues,
and friends.
29. Make the most of what you know.
Take the time to read an industry newsletter before attending a
business or social event or in preparation for an informational interview with
a contact so you will be comfortable sharing the tidbits you have learned.
30. Remember “life is a cabaret, my friends!”
Relax
and enjoy the journey.
One final point to remember: it’s
been estimated that 90 percent of the CEOs in America are introverts! However,
they have learned how to approach the world as though it is a giant stage—one
where they can go on to act and get off to be themselves.
Copyright © 2011-2019 CB Bowman
May not be reproduced
or quoted in part or in whole without written permission from the author.
Contact CB Bowman @ cb@exec-leadershipllc.com for permission.
Visit
us at www.exec-leadershipllc.com for
additional career tips or visit us on Facebook at Executive Leadership, LLC.
